


Jeremy has the brain cell today

by Anonymous



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, F/M, How Do I Tag, Not Beta Read, Swearing, This Is STUPID
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:48:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24353878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: When Jack breaks Gavin's disk and eats Michael's snacks with Geoff, revenge is bound to come, especially with bored battle buddies on their side. The only question is, can Jeremy manage to keep everyone alive?
Relationships: Jack Pattillo/Geoff Ramsey
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17
Collections: Anonymous, Anonymous Fics





	Jeremy has the brain cell today

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this on my phone and my ADD is sucking big time, so I apologise if it is no good. Hopefully it at least makes someone laugh because that's all I want from this story. (Also, I know approximately 5 things so please be kind)

He had been in bed for hours and hours now, having woken up that morning with no real desire to do anything. Mindless scrolling on his phone helped pass the time despite 'obliterating his eyesight' according to Geoff. If he had his way he would have spent even longer in bed, but traitorous hunger was ripping apart his stomach and hey, doesn't toast sound great right now?

With that thought echoing around his mind, Jeremy heaved himself out of bed and towards the kitchen. If his brain had been working, he might have heard the voices first but alas, three hours of sleep wouldn't cut it so he didn't. Not until he stood in the doorway.

"I'm telling you, Gav! Fuckers ate all the snacks and then left on one of their dates!" Yelled Michael, speaking half with his mouth and half with his arms.

"Wha' the fuck are you on about?" He mumbled as he trudged towards the bread.

"Geoff and Jack being dicks!" Exclaimed Gavin and Michael, the two yelling in unison. With impressed nods at each other they exchanged highfives before turning back to him.

Now, knowing them, they didn't need prompting to talk about the issue so he continued on towards the toaster. The bag rustled as he reached in for some bread, but then his hand touched something fuzzy.

"Okay, so, Jack woke me up at piss o'clock" likely 10am, but Jeremy wouldn't call him on it "and said she had accidentally dropped and broken my disk of Skyrim. Skyrim!! The game Michael and I were doing some awesome stuff in!!" The brit exclaimed.

His hand had already recoiled and he felt the need to throw up and bathe in bleach rise up. Tossing the bag along the way he bustled back on over to the sink, cranking the water up on high heat before scrubbing at his hand. His back was turned to the other two as they sat at the marble island, one on a stool and the other on the island itself. Not even when he heard the sound of a scuffle did he turn around.

"So I get out of bed of course, to see if she's telling the truth and yupp! Lo and behold, my disk was snapped! But those shits don't snap when you drop 'em, so I say she did it on purpose!" Gavin continued, undisturbed by how little attention Jeremy seemed to be paying to him.

"And what does that have to do with snacks and dates?" He felt himself ask, way more awake now that he had been traumatised.

"See, Jeremy knows what's really important here." Michael said before more fighting happened. Gavin squawked before a loud thud echoed through the kitchen.

"I had come out of my room to see why Gavin was moaning and whingeing and I stupidly enough left my door open. Geoff, the sneaky fucker, went in and grabbed my snacks! And those were the last edible things in this house!" Michael said and Jeremy wanted to strangle him. If they knew the bread was bad, why leave it there? More importantly, why on earth would his buddy watch him dip his hand into the most rancid stuff on earth? With a blink, Jeremy shook himself out of his thoughts to hear more of what was going on.

"---so there I am, watching the two of the munch on my snacks, filled with betrayal! I yelled at them of course and they conveniently had to leave, so they said I could do the shopping! With my own money! After they're the ones who ate it!" Repeated Michael, obviously very upset about only one detail of it all.

"Aren't you filthy rich? And why would Jack snap your disk?" He asked as he spun around, drying his hands on a dishtowel he had grabbed from next to the sink.

"That's not the important part!!" The two yelled, practically running around the kitchen in their rage.

Now, despite not really caring too much (that would come later) he could never pass up the opportunity to cause mayhem. And this? Was a perfect chance. A riled up Michael and Gavin were ones ready for revenge, especially against their two bosses. A smile crept onto his face and he walked into the living room where the other two were now sulking.

Gavin was sitting upside down on the long black couch, arm across his eyes as he tried to be as dramatic as possible. Michael was, despite the huge couch, on the seat next to the couch that was angled towards their flatscreen TV. His dramatics led to a pillow in his lap and another on his face.

"Well, how are we getting back at them?" He asked.

"I say we blow their fucking rooms up! Set fire to their hair and eat any food they ever try to touch!" Michael yelled, words muffled by the pillow he was shoving into his face.

Jeremy walked over to the TV and sat down on the floor with his back to it, giving him the perfect view of the whole room. He looked over the two boys before his gaze fell beside Gavin's head on the floor, where a mysterious set of eyes were blinking at him. 

"Ew, imagine completely bald Geoff. I'm talking naked molerat level of bald." Gavin countered making all of them shiver. Well, not the fourth person. Had they dropped a (not so) dead body?

"Okay, no, we're definitely not blowing this place up. It's our house!" Jeremy exclaimed, torn between looking at the person under the couch and talking to the others.

"Why don't we make it so their xbox ejects knives instead of disks? That way when they try to do something they get shanked." Gavin mused.

Jeremy's head fell back with a thud against the small shelving unit under their TV, eyes wide up at the ceiling. How on earth were they alive at their age, when this is how their brains worked? His head yanked back up when he heard shuffling from under the couch, scaring Gavin out of his mind. The three waited in anticipation to see who would rise from behind the couch.

"Or, we could fill their pillows with limbs so they squished when they laid down?" Suggested the newly awoken Ryan, who looked unfairly well rested considering he was sleeping under the couch.

Everything that just happened was catching up to Jeremy and he wanted to slap himself. Not only current him, but also past him for ever joining this crew and future him for undoubtedly staying with these idiots.

"You're on a murder break!" Said Michael, launching the pillow in his hands at Ryan.

The other simply caught it, dropped it and raised an eyebrow at the lad. It was an infuriating expression that would usually make Michael mad, or generally anyone mad, but his arrival and prank idea seemed to stun their strong emotions. +10 psychic damage from Ryan!

"We could go grave robbing." Ryan suggested seriously, so sure that his mirder break was the only issue with that plan.

"How about we put some snacks in their room, but make them extremely salty or something? Just no murder, Jesus Christ." Jeremy suggested in an attempt to tame their ideas a bit.

"Alright, that makes up for the snacks, but what about my disk?" Gavin asked, still keeping an eye on Ryan.

"I don't fucking care, just don't murder our bosses!" Exclaimed Jeremy.

"I'll sharpie some dicks onto all their disks! Spell out cunts with the disks and staple them to their walls! I swear, I'll--" 

"Just choose one plan and shut up." Said Ryan, as if he and Jeremy were connected and thinking the same things.

Ryan wandered off then which spurred them all into motion, the three of them going off to prepare. As retribution for the bread, he was going to put that mouldy stuff into their snack cupboard. Most people in the crew had their own snack cupboard but the two lovebirds decided to share one. He grabbed gloves and got to work.

\------------------------

Hours upon hours later, Jack and Geoff came back to the penthouse. Whether it was naivety or forgetfulness that caused it, he didn't know, but the two hardly seemed prepared for what was about to happen. The lads were in Gavin's room watching through their hidden camera, giggling as they stepped through the door.

"What the fuck!" Geoff roared despite his voice cracking.

It took a second, but the realization hit Jack and made her pull a face. Faint cackling came from a few rooms away, cementing her knowledge.

"This is because I broke Gavin's disk, isn't it." She sighed, watching as Geoff calmed down some.

His anger was quickly brought back to the forefront as the lads went running past their room, cameras out and laughs explosively loud. Geoff ran after them, yelling and screaming with Jack by his side.

In the end though, it was probably Ryan's prank that was the best, despite him not having put any effort into it at all. The pillow he had dropped behind the couch remained there after he left, a small camera of his own being the only evidence that it was on purpose. The chase went around the whole floor, notably around the couch and in his anger Geoff hadn't seen it.

The clip was precious to the lads and their partner in crime, seeing as it was a gorgeous shot of Goeff going sailing, ass over tea cups, straight into practically everything in the room. A lamp had been smashed, the seat knocked over and TV dented. How he managed to get around the whole room while falling, nobody knew, but the man definitely regretted it.

All the lads had had their revenge and caused their mayhem, so they slept easy that night, even if they had to lock the door to stop their bosses from killing them in their sleep. All in all, their bad day had definitely ended well.


End file.
